| Location | Lancaster |
| Age | 40 years |
| Date of Birth | 7/1966 |
| Date of Death | 12/2006 |
| Visitors | 870 since 04/02/2007 |
| Creator |
Andrew Seward - known to those who loved him as Sewie.
11 July 1966 - 6 December 2006
Lancaster born and bred
Died from alcohol induced pancreatitis
HE WAS A MAN OF GREAT WIT AND LITTLE JUDGEMENT
Sewie was the nicest person you could ever meet. He had a softness about him that all the women loved!! He was generous to a fault, totally hilarious and very, perhaps, too sensitive. Unfortunately he had an addictive personality which led to his premature demise. I want everyone to know how he died, and that it can happen to the best people in the world. I am not ashamed of how he died because I was lucky enough to know him, although I will never understand fully how someone can do this to themselves when they have everything to live for.
I knew Sewie was a heavy drinker when we first met but I still got involved with him. We were together before this life and we will be together after this life. Everybody said we were soul mates, and so I can't understand why he was taken from me so soon.
Sewie gave up drinking about 7 years ago, after a brief separation. Unbeknownst to me he swapped alcohol for amphetamines. This was the beginning of the end for Sewie. He abused drugs to such an extent he became psychotic, then severely depressed. He attempted suicide twice. The second attempt was nearly successful. He had liver and kidney failure, epileptic fits, and temporarily lost his sight.
After 3 years of his mental illness our marriage was at breaking point and I was desparate for something to change.
I don't know when Sewie started drinking or how much, but it was enough to end his life. Although I was desperate for a change I never for a minute thought that this would happen.
It is now over 10 months since Sewie went and I am still waiting for him to come home. I can't get used to him not lying on the settee all day, and I don't want to. No matter how much I beg him to come back it isn't going to happen and I can't get used to that either.
Everybody tells me it will get easier with time, but I miss him more and more each day. I will never understand why he had to die and I will never accept that he has gone
Oh My God!!!!
What trouble have I had trying to leave a message. You would be so pleased!!
Ok lovey, so it's been 2 years now since you left. Where are you and what are you doing??? Why are you not haunting me like we arranged??
I expect your family have made a big deal out of today and gone to the crematorium to lay flowers and have a good cry. I have to ask myself why? Why would they go to the crem when you are not there? They have never even asked what I have done with your ashes. Do they care?
I just want you to know that I have been thinking about you very much over the past 2 weeks - you know why. Today is ok and I am remembering things with a touch of humour. It must be your influence. I hope you are ok and wish there was some way of knowing that you are. As always, can't wait until I see you again
Helen
xx
All those tired old phrases that people say when someone dies are true. I am living proof that 'time is a great healer'. I can't even remember the last time I sobbed my heart out. Even so, you are constantly in my head. I will always miss you and I will always 'what if...' but I am used to life without you now. In the early days after your death, I would have given absolutely anything to have you back. I would have gladly gone through all the bad times again. Now, I would settle for spending a few hours with you before we both go back to our own lives. I am much more contented now and I am sure you are too. Since you left the best thing in the world has happened -Drew!!!! He's had a tough job replacing my two lads but he's doing a more than adequate job and he always knows when you're around. Can't wait to see you again lovey - we will have such a laugh (how many muches??? Too many muches!!!!).
On this your 42nd birthday.
On this your 42nd birthday,I just want you to know I still miss you and think about you constantly. My feelings are not as raw as time heals the pain but I loved you very much and that can never fade.
On this my birthday, still missing you and loving you every day.
In the arms of angels, fly away from here....
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelry,
You're in the arms of angels,
May you find some comfort here.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far ....
....I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possible break when it wasn't even whole to start with
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid
I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damned thing
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Just a year ago.
It is a year ago since you died and we miss you and think about you constantly but know that you are in a better place and all your anxieties have ceased. We have bought a light which has been placed on the tree in the hospice grounds in remembrance of you. This little verse refers to that:
'Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.'
Just to let you know our beloved cat has died.
You were a part of our cat's life for a long time. She was called Nursey and died on Sunday evening, the 4th November aged about 20. She gave us hours of enjoyment and was beautiful in looks and nature. The void left by her death is enormous but we thank God that she lived such a golden life.
When he went blundering back to God,
His songs half written, his work half done,
Who knows what paths his bruised feet trod,
What hills of peace or pain he won?
I hope God smiled and took his hand,
And said, 'Poor truant, passionate fool!
Life's book is hard to understand;
Why couldst thou not remain at school?'
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played in loops 'til it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were?
And not our last days of silence, screaming blur
And somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
You could be happy, I hope you are
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